Just wear rubber boots and gloves and leave the electricity on

The Iranian navy, having been defeated and completely destroyed for the 7th time since the beginning of the war, successfully mined the strait of Hormuz and seized two international trading vessels.

Keep going Donny, 8th time’s the charm

I’m excited to see what discovery in his defamation suit against The Atlantic will reveal about his conduct (should it go to trial).

This asshat is out there trying to bully media outlets into silence, probably not realizing the hilarious backfire waiting for him when one of them calls his bluff and lets a court verify their allegations 😄

J. Edgar Boozer of the Federal Bureau of Intoxication everyone!

Eat shit, clanker boy

Just what I need in my life! MORE easily accessible screens to help fuck up my brain chemistry

Turns out if you don’t believe in aerosols they can’t harm you. Wish we had known that during covid

Good thing they forced everyone into their cloud service and EoL’d on-prem installs so they now have a nice captive user base to abuse 🙃

That’s in the morning before hair & make-up have done their best to make him presentable

Well then shut up and sue bitch

And here I was thinking for a second that MAHA got too fucking retarded even for Trump crowd standards.

But noooo it’s just the fossil fuel propaganda apparatus getting ready to shoot them down because in a rare lucid moment they’re pushing for environmental regulations on toxic chemicals and plastics.

The US is so fucking cooked man 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

You’re right. He was stupid but not a malicious ass clown

So just inches away from Idiocracy plot, yes?

What a time to be alive, male and between 18 and 50 🫡🫠

Poor sod seems to lack the courage to sneak into a cargo hold

To play a bit more to the “boring dystopia” theme:

You probably won’t be able to as long as Trump and his jolly crew of anarcho-capitalist shit lickers are in power.

They want to kill the USPS or rather make it a) either directly controlled by them so they can fuck around with mail ballots; and/or b) privatize it to extract more wealth for aforementioned shit lickers.

Since USPS currently is pretty well liked in the general population, a viable game plan would be to first freeze or significantly hinder hiring processes so open positions remain vacant and service is ultimately degraded, raising frustration about USPS in the general population and justifying a takeover to rectify the apparent shit show.

From “OPEN THE FUCKING STRAIT OR WE’LL BOMB YOU TO THE STONE-AGE” to “lol no, now I’ll block the strait” 🤪🤡

Those clearly were tortoises though :D

Simple!

Turtle: pretty chill dude cruising the East Australian Current

Tortoise: teaching Pandas Kung-Fu