levisay

​Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior which involves violence or other abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation. Intimate partner violence is violence by a spouse or partner in an intimate relationship against the other spouse or partner. Domestic violence can take place in heterosexual and same-sex family relationships, and can involve violence against children in the family too.

Some of the violent actions

Amongst the cases that have been experienced in kenya,from western part of kenya Antony,a 32year old from Matunda  woke up from his sleep after his wife had set his private parts on fire following a disagreement on land ownership with his wife,going to the northern side of kenya Fatuma Ibrahim a 32 year old lady from wajir who was stabbed severally even having a knife that was lodged in her cheek over domestic quarrel ,

Fatuma Ibrahim with the knife lodged in her cheek

Nyeri the central part of kenya ,among the many men who have experienced it a 40 year old man was cut off his private part after he stayed long out drinking and returned home drunk upon which a condom was found in his pocket

Antony the man whose private parts were chopped off

 The recent case was in Machakos county Jackline Mwende,a 27 year old lady  faced a cruel act when his husband chopped off  her hands for failing to get pregnant after a seven year marriage.Despite the doctors having confirmed that she was fertile and the man was impotent.

Jackline mwende whose hands were cut off by the husband

This are just but a few cases that have hit heads of the media.What could really be the reason for the increase in domestic violence ?In African tradition,the woman does not have a voice and due to change in times and emerge of women activist groups the woman is encouraged to have a voice and and this causes a conflict which i believe it contributes to the domestic violence cases because most men want to show their position in the family especially when they feel their position as the head of the family is  being threatened.Nowadays people are putting all the efforts in the wedding which is a one day affair and forgeting the marriage, they tend to concentrate more on how the day will be but they forget that what matters most is the happy life after.Thou it has created awareness and you might argue that it has  helped victims of domestic violence increased media coverage has increased domestic violence cases because the people get the ideas on how to commit the offense through the daily news reports.The reason why the  Cases are so severe is because people assume the signs from the begining.In many cases it starts with something as small  as a slap  which escalates to incidence such as chopping off of the hands or even manhood and in extreme cases death.Some of the things that would lead to domestic violence include controlling freaks .This are the type of people who when they call you they want to know where you are,what you doing,who you are with and generally only want you to do what they think is right .A controlling freak is a person who tends to dictate how everything is done around them.

women can also be the controling freaks in a marriage or even relationship

This type of people  could also be having issues with anger and emotional disregulation hence they can attack you anytime for even the slightest mistake.In some cases it calls for one to make some impulse decisions ,in the case of mwende the lady from machakos whose arms were chopped off,she had severally seeked advise from her church pastor who i believe had been advising her to stay in the marriage and pray for her husband.My friends when making the vows “for better for worse till death do us part “vow does not mean  you stick in the marriage till your partner takes away your life or leaves you crippled you need to draw a line between religion and your personal real life and your happiness too.

If its not working your way just move out before you loose your life

It is my advise to every one who is experiencing domestic violence to walk out of that marriage or relationship before your wife ,husband,boyfriend girlfriend that fiancee you love kills you.

​I can see the disappointment on your face just because she didn’t portray the qualities of an angel you had expected when you first saw her. The way you talk about her has changed. You used to talk to the boys about an angel and how happy she made you, how attractive she was, her black kinky hair, her wide and very beautiful smile. But alas all that has now changed since you called her on Friday night and she didn’t pick up and so you concluded she was out in the club with some other guy. Your mind wondered into the different things she could be doing with this new guy. Then last week you were to meet her at creamy in but she arrived a few minutes late and you freaked out thinking she had decided to meet someone else before nowander she was late. Are you new to Nairobi? Do you know of the traffic on Mombasa road? You should be greatful she was only a few minutes late. You then invite her to your place on Sunday but since she is a church girl she can’t make it that is when all hell breaks loose. You start complaining of how you are always here for her but she is never there for you. She needs to live her life, have some time to herself, have her phone on silent and not have to answer to you on everything. She is also allowed to make mistakes as everyone and her mistakes should not be made to feel bigger and worse than yours because she is a woman.Infact be a gentleman and help her in dealing with some of the issues she’s going through. Don’t go and discuss her with the boys you once praised her to. They will not give you good advice they will probably advice you to leave her. And believe you me you will find her happily married to one of the same guys who adviced you to leave her. She tried to make it work but you didn’t believe in her and you cared so much about what others thought

              TUWE TRUE

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The distribution of condoms is a crucial and sensitive matter ,a matter which can elicit positive change in behavior in terms of ownership,knowledge and use.As per a study conducted by the university of leeds, students are rated as the most sexually active group and it still remains a fact that most of them engage in ​

unprotected sex because of the some belief that it doesn’t give a feel of the real deal.Some argue that you cannot eat a sweet wrapped in a paper, however ,there is a group that cannot purchase a pack of condoms over-the counter from drug store due to the fact that they are  shy, amongst other reasons.After finding a condom company selling their products at a subsidised price and giving out gifthampers in a university,”Kuwa true” a campaign that has been sponsored by the government, I sort to get the reaction of the society where some believed that it is the best way to reduce HIV and STI’s,Provided that professional advise on how to use them will be given and not only concentrate on selling to them but also provide good teachings to embolden knowledge and influence decisions towards attainment of responsible use.Some people felt that it was not right and it would lead to more immorality in the society, some even asked me if the rate of crime was high would i advise the guns to be sold at a cheaper price and made easily accessible.I tend to believe that with the easy access to condoms ,more students will indulge into reckless sexual behavious. Well,its not like we hava an option.The truth is the more we keep quite on this issue a girl will be impregnated and not graduate ,a boy will get HIV and STD from the multi partners they have .Before its too late let us support this move by condom companies as prevention is better than cure.